Your Journey Ends Here

I'm not trying to sound irrational after bad news is given, but we're done.

We're done with IVF now, and we're done thinking about having little "1/2 Blake, 1/2 Rodney" babies.

And not for a lack of trying.  You've heard people go through many many rounds of IVF until they have a baby in their arms.  Well, I got specific words from the doctor that said IVF is not the route we should be using in this quest to parenthood.  Due to the crazy bad odds we are up against, its just not the logical route anymore.  We tried.  We tried hard.  But when you're up against odds like we are, it just does not make sense.

So, for right now, we are done.

It sucks, but I have a feeling that our lives are about to change.  :)

Thanks everyone for their wonderful thoughts/prayers/good vibes.  I felt them.  I really did.

Mother's Day

Mother's Day, like a baby shower or a pregnancy announcement can be a tough day for people going through infertility. And for me, the day has its moments of sadness, but I try not to make it about me.  Because after all, I'm not a mother.  I haven't sacrificed my "me" time, fed from my boob, stressed over a sick kid in the middle of the night, and all the other things a mom does that I don't realize, because I'm not a mother.

But I desperately want to be.

My mom wasn't in town this Sunday, so we spent Saturday lunch with her instead.  That left Sunday to do whatever we wanted.  Since my hubs has been working out of town during the week, I let him choose.  So we golfed 18 holes at Quail Ridge.  As we were driving there, I said to him, "I hope I'm a mother next Mother's Day" and he perfectly said, "You will be."

The waiting game

I've been patiently waiting the results since they were sent to the lab last Wednesday........and now my patience is running real real thin.

I emailed the fertility clinic yesterday morning, just in case they didn't know I was waiting :)

They did.

The gamble of life

Lets just get to the latest news.

12 eggs were retrieved.  10 fertilized.  Thats amazing news.

We have to wait until Tuesday evening or Wednesday morning for the exact total that made it through to day 5 and then they'll send whatever made it to the lab for HD testing.

We were thrilled to have 12.  Thrilled to have 10 fertilize.  And then yesterday when I got the news, I had to wait all afternoon to tell Rodney, and when I did, he was super thrilled.

After talking to my older sister Betsey and giving her the breakdown of how our week went in Vegas, she said I have the perfect makings for a short story.  About going to Vegas to make a baby, and how its a complete gamble.  People go to Vegas to gamble every single day of the year.  And we just spent another week there gambling to create a family.

Its so true.  We have a 50/50 chance of each embryo having HD.   I know Vegas odds are not normally in your favor, but there are winners.  I heard the machines pinging out loud.  I saw people winning at the craps table.  It does happen.  And hopefully we will be a part of the "lucky ones".